People will try to tell you that you can do things you can’t do.
It’s hard to insist that no, you can’t do them. Or that you can’t do them safely. Or that you can’t do them without using up all your spoons and losing the capacity to do things that are more important.
They will tell you that this is giving up, or being lazy. They will tell you this with their words and their body language. And by pretending that you have not said anything, and just refusing to take into account your actual abilities.
They will tell you this with hate. They will tell you this with good intentions. They will tell you this as concern trolls and terrified parents.
Sometimes, in that situation, it’s easy to feel like you aren’t allowed to say no until you’ve run yourself into the ground trying, or until you’ve tried and failed and things have gone badly wrong. Because people won’t believe you, and will put pressure on you in all kinds of ways.
The thing is, they’re wrong, and you don’t have to believe them or comply with their demands.
It helps a lot to be confident in your ability to judge what you can and can’t do. Sometimes you have to say no over and over.
Knowing ahead of time that something won’t work for you and insisting on planning accordingly isn’t lazy.
It’s being responsible.
I don’t really think anyone ever thought the “filmmakers” weren’t “pro-LGBT”, but the fact remains that Orson Scott Card isn’t just homophobic, he’s basically a professional Terrible Person. He’s about as homophobic as you can possibly get in mainstream American society without actively going around beating up gay people.
I did enjoy Ender’s Game when I read it (several years ago), but there’s no way I’m paying to see the movie. I’ve seen a rather bizarre argument against ~boycotting~ the movie, which is that failing to pay for Ender’s Game is “punishing” all the innocent people who worked on the movie, but… that really doesn’t make sense because they already got paid.
It is not my responsibility to support the careers of filmmakers as if they are a charity, just because they managed the bare minimum of PR responsibility by denouncing Orson Scott Card’s nightmarish opinions. Plus, the movie is basically a gigantic advertisement for the book. If the movie is a flop, the actors, cameramen, etc, will all still get paid. But the more popular the movie is, the more OSC will benefit from the publicity and he’ll end up selling more and more books.
I mean, his argument against people boycotting the movie was, “Why can’t you be more tolerant of my intolerance?” SERIOUSLY. noooo